Firsts...

As a Mom of one child or 8, there are a number of things you recall about babies. Some moms write them in a baby book, take pictures, videos, scrapbook, or other ways to memorialize your child's first accomplishments. It's the first steps, smiles, words, solid foods, and they are countless. As your child gets older you realize less and less of these milestones. A child, once diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) gave me a whole new set of firsts to be aware of.

I honestly only remember a handful of milestones by memory of all the girls from when they were infants. I remember certain ones about Carly walking up our walkway. She was just starting to speak, and stopped and said, "Flower." In her little voice and chubby fingers pointing to a little flower on the side of the road. I remember Tanya with her little smile when she was in the car seat. I remember Tanya walking right after the New Year and when Carly finally slept through the night. Those are the ones I don't have to try to remember.

When Eden was going through the diagnosis at the Doctor's office I had about 10 pages of "milestones" I had to remember. First steps, sitting up, crawling, walking, words, and about a million others. My brain almost exploded with information. I couldn't possibly remember EVERY milestone. I did the best I did with the things I did remember and the rest...I guessed.

Once we really started the journey, I was very aware of what she couldn't do. There was a list and most of the list I didn't understand. I did some research did finally figure out what all the phrases meant that were "not at developmental age" or when she "didn't meet standards" for a certain skill. I started my own list of small "firsts" that I wanted her to accomplish. They were a lot different from her peers as most of the things on my list come without a second thought for other parents.

Her first sentence, getting my attention, to get more stamina so she didn't get tired as quickly, going to a restaurant for a meal without having to leave, getting dressed,  staying dressed, not talking to strangers, eating more than 4 different foods (which is where we started) and going to Wal-mart without having a meltdown.

I now pay a lot more attention to the milestones that Eden has, even at 5 years old, I'm still noticing them. How cool it that? I remember the evening she asked her first question without prompting. I remember the first time we went to a restaurant and Ed didn't have to take her out to the car before the rest of us were finished. It was just this summer when we could finally let her outside without having an adult by her side (I mean that literally) when she went out to play, now I can stay on the porch or do yard work without having to have her in some sort of play yard. I love the fact that I notice these milestones and they keep coming.

Being the baby of the family, it used to be, "Oh it's the last of..." or "I'm glad I don't have to...anymore." All of these milestones are bittersweet for every mom with their youngest. I get more of these, and they are a little more sweet at this age. Sometimes I get into the, "What if she never..?" but then I can read this blog and remember that we've already come so far in her development in just one year.

I take pride in knowing I'm aware of even the littlest milestone like a month ago when she asked a question that totally surprised me. "Where do my teachers go?" as we are leaving the school to go home one day. This was the first question she had asked inquiring about someone other than herself. It was huge.

Let me tell you that all my "First" memories aren't that wonderful. We've had some real tough ones, where I had cried myself to sleep. First time she bit me. First time she bit one of my in-home support workers (it actually happened a lot).  First time she ran off on me. First time she had a meltdown in the grocery store and almost knocked me out. First time Tanya asked if we could just give her away after a bad day (OMG that one killed me).

Remembering all of these are just reminders that I think I'll just never run out of firsts, however little they may seem to others. In our house, they are a cause for celebration. Or they make our family so much stronger, help us work harder and want to learn more. I hope I can keep this blog up, because it helps me keep track of all those firsts with my girls. I hope there are so many more to share!