I know it's been a while...I'm a busy girl

I'm really not, I just haven't the energy to pour things out or I've preffered to sit on the couch at night cuddling the older girls (which is a luxury I get when they are on vacation) or even shall I say that there hasn't been too much to write about lately. I'm not saying things are better or worse as they have been in the past. It's just there is an steady wave of ups and downs. When we have our ups I don't write because face it...it's just plain boring. When there are downs, I'm usually just too exhausted to figure it out and I'm asleep before the girls are.

I just read some stuff and was thinking, so it seemed natural putting it down here so I can get it out. The words I was thinking of was milestones. Everyone thinks of them when they have very young children, first step, words, smile and laughs; I'm thinking of it a little different. I'm trying to figure out the older milestones that the parents don't think of. Like when your child can start cleaning their own room, making their own snacks, getting their own clothes ready, getting ready for bed, be able to make up a game with a friend and explain it to them, and all those other milestones.

When you have NT (Neuro-typical) children like I do, those things just come with age. I'll even say different ages with each child but parents don't teach them to their children. The children learn it by example, watching others, and even experimenting with these things until they get it right. With that being said, I've been thinking about 5 and 6 year old milestones that Carly and Tanya achieved (other than going to school because that's a whole other story). Social (being able to make friends appropriately who are age appropriate and play things with them without running off) , communication(talking like a kid not a baby without prompts), and even brain developmental (like pretend play and the ability to entertain themselves) milestones. I can't remember those things. I guess it's because I didn't have to, they were so "normal". 


Now this is why this is important, every milestone Eden has met as a preschooler has been taught to her. Not necessarily by me either, there have been therapists, in home support workers, teachers, and other people to help her. Talking in a sentence...was taught. Calling people by name...taught. How to play with toys appropriately...taught. Potty training (during the day)...taught. Playing with other kids...taught. Sitting at the table to eat...taught. Those are just examples, there are a million of them. Most of her big milestones, they were taught to her.

When I start thinking about milestones for Eden, I have to actually put them into words relay them to teachers, BHP's, therapists, and even my husband so we can all be on the same page on how we are teaching them, what we want her to learn and how to best tell if she knows the skill. The small problem is, I don't know what she is "supposed" to be doing or what "normal" kids to at her age with things like playing with peers, responsibilities, school work, academics, and everything else under the sun apparently.

Sure you can look up what "normal" babies do when they are certain ages (birth to about age 4) there are pretty specific things your child should do at certain points. The trouble is once you get past age 4 things start getting pretty vague, and when you have to specifically teach your child most skills (not that she can't do them, it's that she has to be taught that she needs to do it) it is not very helpful. I've recently reached out to Eden's school for suggestions and they have been helpful and will be sending me more information.

I think I've figured out what the world of parents with HFA (High Fuctioning Autism) children are missing. I want a list of developmental milestones that my child should do by the age of 5, 6 and so on. That way I can have a gauge of what we need to work on from day to day. So by time she get's to a certain age I can be confident that she is right where she needs to be or what areas need work. I want the list to include social, development, communication, appropriate responsibilities, and community(what they can do themselves out in the community) milestones. If there is such a thing where is it and why haven't I heard of it?

I'm sure none of this post made much sense, but I feel better. Things are slowly gearing up for Eden and the other girls to start school. I've also made a couple more tools with my laminating machine for Eden to help her make the most of her sensory tools, I'll try and do a post on that when I have some time to take pictures and such. We also have been preparing for our BIG trip to Disney for Halloween. There will be some more talk of that I'm sure.