Troubles at home...

I try to keep things as honest here as I can. I'm writing this today to keep it that way. Keep in mind that as every person has their ups and downs in this universe, so do we in this family. Moods, behaviors, and just everyday life sometimes just wears on me. It's so nice to be able to tell about the things that my children have accomplish and comparing how things are improving. I try to look on the bright side of everything but just lately it's been a little difficult.

Eden has been on a kind of food strike. I say "kind of" because she'll eat breakfast most of the time without a fuss and lunches are hit or miss depending on the day. She has completely refused to eat dinner. I can sometimes get her to take a few "forced" bites by withholding tv or a preferred item of some sort (which we haven't had to do for a long time). I have tried making food that she likes to see if that will help and it hasn't. I still refuse to make more than one meal so we've ended up with macaroni in some form 2 or 3 times this week. I don't know if it's because of all the stuff that we have been trying to do with her belly or not having school...really who knows?

She has had some pretty big anxiety things going on. She is having dreams about people taking her blood, fire drills, pencil boxes, and most recently mosquitoes. These anxieties are sometimes crippling for her and I'm not sure I can do anything to prevent them. Although, she is handling them better than she has in the past. She's telling me she is scared, asking questions when before she loses her words, she is looking to me for reassurance (something that she has NEVER done before), she will listen when I try to explain before starting to panic (and sometimes she still does panic but the listening first is new), and she understands the things that make her scared a little better. She still runs off and sometimes with no regard to her safety. She starts to hyperventilate to the point you have to tell her to slow her breathing. Sometimes it starts with a panicked cry and having her inconsolable; in that case I rock her in my arms until she calms down. And last once she starts to escalate she has a lot of trouble putting words together.

Eden also has really had a horrible name calling problem. She does this when she gets frustrated, doesn't get her way, or she just wants someone to pay attention to her. She started this when we started having her use more words when she was frustrated. We didn't try to censor her that much then because frankly we were just happy she wasn't hurting people. Now, it's on the boarder of verbal abuse. Most of it is scripting from other places she's heard it, either from other people, movies or tv shows. It's so frustrating when we are trying to get her to eat, go to bed, or even get dressed and she calls me an idiot, stupid and/or tells me she wishes I wasn't her mother anymore. I just want to cry.

I've been trying my hardest to stay positive but these things are happening constantly at our house. I'm frustrated and angry that I can't figure out how to make these things easier to deal with or just go away. We've had a ton of things going on lately, waiting to hear what we may need to do about the possible diet changes in our family. Getting ready for the older girls to go to summer camps. Preparing for summer vacation. And everything else that has been going on.