What an Event!

Today was a very busy for our family. It's Easter, and along with the Easter Bunny coming we had church, 3 baptisms in our family, a performance of the girls singing at church, and a dinner/baptism celebration/birthday party for Carly.

I'll take one event at a time. First Easter, it for our family has always been a great holiday for us. This year was no exception. About 2 weeks ago, I had gone into a store with Eden and she saw this little toy pig she wanted. She kept telling me I want the little pig, and I told her not right now. I barely glanced at the pig and saw that it was $13 dollars! Not convinced I could explain buying a $13 dollar toy pig for Eden just out of the blue, so I told her that if she was good maybe the Easter Bunny might bring it to her. Well needless to say she asked for it every night. And she was so happy when on Easter morning there was her $13 "little pig" with the Easter basket. She talked about that constantly today.


Since Christmas, the children's choir teacher and I have been preparing for Eden to sing in front of our congregation at church. Memorising the song wasn't hard for her as she has a very good memory and she really loves singing. It was just a natural progression to have her sing in front of everyone. Practicing once a week at church (in the actual church "sanctuary" as well) for a few weeks. Starting with sitting and walking up front, singing, and then sitting down again. Today was the "Big" day, all of our hard work. She impressed us all, she walked right up and sang her little heart out just like the bigger kids. She was so funny when ever anyone said Happy Easter all she would do is interrupt whoever was talking and into the microphone she said, "And little pig!" No one but our family new what that meant but I knew the Easter Bunny had made her happy. I was so super proud of her. What a great start to the morning.


This story has been a wonderful one, right? Well, this is where the other shoe drops. After her beautiful song, I gave that big sigh of relief. (That was over and I was so grateful we make it out alive and unharmed) She came and sat with me like we had practiced. I explained just like in her social story we had gone through a million times, that we would wait our turn then go up and listen to the Reverend talk some more, and he would put water on her head 3 times and then we would go down stairs to play with her friends. All I can say is that I saw her lose it when he started pouring the water into that beautiful white bowl. Her eyes got wide and I could see that we were in trouble. She started sinking in between the pews and then laid on the floor (Just remember we were in the front of the church...on Easter...the place was packed, hot and this is Eden's first church service since she was one). I thought OMG this isn't happening. He called us up to the front of the church and when I went to get Eden's hand she had crawled on the floor (wearing a beautiful Easter dress) to the pew in front of us.


This can not be happening, I go to get her and she crawls away screaming bloody murder "NO!" and as I am trying desperately to pick her up. She is so not having it. I'm trying my hardest to get her to stand or be carried up to the front of the church. She wiggles and shimmies to get out of my grip. I can't do it. I don't know what the right this is to do. I put her down, I don't know why but she is scared to death. I can't quite figure it out, I see raw fear in her eyes. She in the middle of this meltdown has a moment of clarity in her screaming looks at me and says, "Quiet room,"  I look at her and find the closest smallest space I can find without actually letting her leave. There is a little table and a wall that separates the alter from the pews and a corner...thank god there is a corner. I quickly tell her she can sit there. Me in my dress and her in hers we sit (Me not too gracefully) on the floor. Filing through the relaxation techniques in my head I know I can't touch her so I look her in the eye and tell her to start blowing out my candles. I hold my fingers up like birthday candles and we start breathing.

We both breath/blow out candles a lot of them. I didn't get it she needed more time, all I know is that the Reverend is still reading the passages for the Baptism (because my sisters boys are getting Baptized as well) I try my hardest to get her interested in what's going on up front. My nephews are at the part when he pours water on their heads and I have her watch. She does watch for a second but then something else sets her off.

I try to calmly get her to where she needs to be at the front of the church, I am at least going to get her so she isn't freaking out and the wonderful "Miss Joy" comes up to help me the Christian Ed Director for the Sunday School. She actually lays on the floor with Eden. We get her up to the front of the church and she calms just enough for the Reverend to finish the Baptism. He pours the water on her 3 times just like we planned. He didn't pour as much water on her as the other kids, honestly I think he was just scared. It was quiet and everyone waiting for Eden's reaction. She then says, "Thank you for the water." Seriously? This child who just threw a fit and hit her father just thanked the Reverend for the water? I thought it was completely cute and now looking back, in her social story she knew the water on her head meant she could leave.

It was over, whatever this was. She could go downstairs and play with her friends. We walked down the aisle to leave the Sanctuary. I get the apologetic looks but I don't know them and they don't know me so I understand. But amongst the looks I also got a "You're doing a great job Mom." It wasn't any of my "actual" family because I'm pretty sure they were about 2 seconds from running up to the front of the church to just give me a great big hug (because I was on the brink of tears from the time I was blowing out the candles). I really could feel their love at that moment and I think that's the main reason why I didn't lose it. I did so well, Eden did so well, and my family was there "loving" me through it.

I brought her downstairs and after the service, we brought her back up to shake hands and say lots of "Happy Easter's!" and get our congratulations. I got so many people who really know Eden tell me how well they think she did. A few, "Mom, you did a great job!" and even a few, "You will always remember this moment." Overall it was a success, she sang, she got Baptized, and she got her chocolate donut in the end. I got home, had my I'm devastated cry and then decided that if this had happened a couple of months ago she would never would have been able to do any of the things she did today. I am proud, I was sad even almost devastated that the moment I took so much time preparing for what was still so difficult for her. I question sometimes if things will always be this hard, lots of preparation and still a lot of chaos. I really don't know.

As for the party afterwards, it was so wonderful. So many children, and so many wonderful memories. Food was very yummy if I do say so myself (as I am the one who cooked it), cake was super awesome thanks to my wonderful sister, and every person who came was very special to me and I was so happy to share such a wonderful day with all of them.