Ok, here it goes. I'm a little bit of a control freak...maybe not a little bit. And those of you who know me personally are like, DUH! I really have been working on this a lot. I like being at the helm of my "ship". In my mind I feel like it's my job to take care of everything and do all of the appointments with the ladies. I cook dinner, clean the house, get the kids off to their appointments and such, I schedule appointments for everyone, keep the schedule straight, organize clothes, do laundry, pay bill, grocery shop (Ed has NEVER done a full week of grocery shopping) and to tell you the truth I really love doing all those things. It gives me a sense of purpose.
I've taken a big look on the way that I do things and how I feel about the way things are going here with our family and I think it works. I also think that I get overwhelmed on occasion, and when that happens, it is very difficult to turn to others to help me. Sure, I let go of taking Eden to school in the mornings and I'm very proud of how well it's gone. I've started asking for help from my family, Ed and even the ladies some times with certain things.
I love to cook, but I've decided it's great for the older girls (and as of last week Eden also) to start learning how to make some meals. It takes every ounce of my being not to be right there in the kitchen making sure they are doing it right. It's ok if they spill a little, if they add things in out of sequence, or if it tastes different (not bad) from what I would do. I have sat in the living room giving tips and advice if they ask but when they are not sure they are doing it right I try to give them a good sense that their instincts are good and to do what they want.
When cleaning up, I've started giving them more difficult chores. I'm not hovering telling them how I want it done. I let them do it and check after to see if they've done what they needed to. I've decided that not checking the work only leads to them playing in the other room for a little while and then saying it's done.
Folding laundry is another milestone for me. I have a difficult time not having things folded neatly. The kids do no fold neatly, but now I'm ok with it if things don't look exactly the way I would like them to look. I own an iron and have clothes hangers. When it comes to laundry I've also stepped back to having them bring out all of their dirty clothes from their rooms and I will wash them. No more going into the "Pit" and risking my life (or feet) by stepping on LEGOS or a BARBIE. So, I'll remind them once in a while and eventually they will run out of clothes.
These are tough things for me, I'm trying to get out of the mindset that only I can do it right. It's ok that I get help with things, it doesn't make me a bad parent, wife or housekeeper. I have a few more to work on and I'm sure I'll be forced into letting go a little more when I start college this Fall. We'll see how that goes.
I've taken a big look on the way that I do things and how I feel about the way things are going here with our family and I think it works. I also think that I get overwhelmed on occasion, and when that happens, it is very difficult to turn to others to help me. Sure, I let go of taking Eden to school in the mornings and I'm very proud of how well it's gone. I've started asking for help from my family, Ed and even the ladies some times with certain things.
I love to cook, but I've decided it's great for the older girls (and as of last week Eden also) to start learning how to make some meals. It takes every ounce of my being not to be right there in the kitchen making sure they are doing it right. It's ok if they spill a little, if they add things in out of sequence, or if it tastes different (not bad) from what I would do. I have sat in the living room giving tips and advice if they ask but when they are not sure they are doing it right I try to give them a good sense that their instincts are good and to do what they want.
When cleaning up, I've started giving them more difficult chores. I'm not hovering telling them how I want it done. I let them do it and check after to see if they've done what they needed to. I've decided that not checking the work only leads to them playing in the other room for a little while and then saying it's done.
Folding laundry is another milestone for me. I have a difficult time not having things folded neatly. The kids do no fold neatly, but now I'm ok with it if things don't look exactly the way I would like them to look. I own an iron and have clothes hangers. When it comes to laundry I've also stepped back to having them bring out all of their dirty clothes from their rooms and I will wash them. No more going into the "Pit" and risking my life (or feet) by stepping on LEGOS or a BARBIE. So, I'll remind them once in a while and eventually they will run out of clothes.
These are tough things for me, I'm trying to get out of the mindset that only I can do it right. It's ok that I get help with things, it doesn't make me a bad parent, wife or housekeeper. I have a few more to work on and I'm sure I'll be forced into letting go a little more when I start college this Fall. We'll see how that goes.
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