Things I've Learned About Myself

This is a follow-up from the previous post about Eden. I may write ones about the other girls eventually. I've just had a difficult time just trying to get a minute to write. I just want to say that I've learned these things before and after Eden's diagnosis but only realized I learned them when I was thinking about my parenting style. That is a must to know when you have a child with any special needs. I'm not sure where this is going to go so here it goes.

*Things I've learned about myself:
That I can love the second and third just as much as I love the first which is every mothers worry.
*I have some good genes. (they are so beautiful)
*When your kids are not looking at you they are not listening (try getting an Autistic child to look at you SUPER FUN)
*I have a bunch more patience now, than I had before kids, and a million times more since I've had Eden
*That girls cry easy, including me!
*Use your supports, everyday.
*When someone offers help, you should take it no matter how hard it is to let a little control go.
*I am a BIG control freak.
*I love to hug my kids.
*Yelling at people doesn't get you what you want.
*Not to worry about the people who don't make you feel you make good decisions as long as you feel it in your heart it's right
*Everyone has an opinion, and free to express it, then leave.
*There is lots of advice out there.
*To deal with that advice/criticism I have the choice to take it or not.
*I get stronger everyday.
*When your child hits you in public, just breathe, it's the hardest thing you'll have to do, but when you get to the car you can cry.
*The words "Behavior Problems" and such are just what they are and not a reflection of your parenting skills.
*Some people will judge your child, judge you, and that's ok.
*Sometimes you find the strangest people, the best people and they come at the best times in your life.
*Kids are hard.
*(This may sound awful) I am a good mom.
*Sometimes Mom's need a time out too.
*Feeling sad is ok, but only when your kids are gone. But it gets better when you see a smile.
*Every word is a gift. ( I never would have thought that)
*Know what you want to accomplish, never give up.
*Take any 5 minutes you can get for yourself.

How/what Autism has taught me:

*It's not "If" it's "When"
*You have to teach  your child to look at you, if not they won't.
*Sounds, touches, lights, and tastes are not the same as everyone else.
*Labels are there, but it's not a part of who you are. If you don't have one how do you know how to help?
*The line between low and high functioning Autism is very grey.
*Every behavior is looking for some kind of reinforcement.
*Pictures make sense.
*Everything is very literal.
*Surprises aren't fun.
*Not all therapies are created equal.
*Learn all you can, just don't try it all at once.
*Likes and dislikes change all the time.
*Autism is a life-long adventure.
*It's not in the nature of Autistic people to lie (favorite trait until she gets older)

I really am new at this being 1 year into this adventure and I have so much more to figure out before I will feel like I almost know what I'm doing.  I like to help people, teach people about my child, and please don't judge before you walk a day or two in my shoes. Having Eden has made me the best parent to all three of my kids than I would ever imagine. I make more time to spend with my older girls, because Eden is a very tough child to be a big sister too. I thank God for every milestone we hit with her and wonder what she is going to do next to surprise me. I really do think that she is my baby for a reason, my family that has taken her diagnosis and tried to learn as much as they can. She is a very trying child but if you pay attention and have listened to me, she is pretty easy to figure out. I love my kids, and thank God everyday for them and the wonderful gifts they have given me.

As with any list this one is an ongoing one. I need to believe some of these things more and live this list everyday.