Let me say that in the years Eden has been in this preschool (not including the one we are transitioning her to for the summer) there have only been maybe 3 other girl classmates. With Eden's past behavior issues they have not until recently put her in a class room with some "neuro-typical" (NT) peers. And this year in particular, has been difficult because her birthday is right after the school "cut off" date for enrollment into kindergarten; she was the oldest in her classroom and on the "higher functioning" end.
This sets up a whole lot of social issues with going to kindergarten. First, I think that Eden being in a classroom with other special needs kids full-time (though the right decision based on her needs) has not prepared her for what it's going to be like in a typical class room with more than 15 NT kids running around. I'm sure there is no easy way to prepare a child (any child) for that, but one who has trouble if there is more than 5 or 6 people in a room together should be an interesting adventure.
Second, being the oldest in the class has upsides and downsides. Last year Eden was the only child in her class that didn't move to the NT (3 to 1 ratio) class or go to kindergarten. She had an entire class of 3 maybe just turning 4 year old children in her class. She was the child who knew the classroom and how it worked so the class took their cues from her. I was even told when she was sick for a couple of days how the other children had a more difficult time because Eden wasn't there to be a good role model. She had her own struggles to deal with and having a lot of younger kids who haven't been in school is hard work to teach them how to play and socialize.
The last part is that Eden has been more often than not the only girl in her classroom. With the new CDC statistics that 1 in 88 children were diagnosed with Autism and 4 out of 5 of those children diagnosed were boys, having a girl in your class is a rare thing in the world of Autism. Not that it doesn't happen but girls that are on the higher functioning end sometimes aren't tested for Autism unless they have very clear symptoms and I've mentioned that Eden's are very well hidden to the untrained eye and I don't know why that is but that's for a different post.
What's the issue about Eden being the only girl? Well, as we know one of the symptoms of Autism is delays in social communications and interactions. This kind of worries me is because as Eden is going to school she is learning how to play with other kids, how to interact with them, how to read their social cues, how to understand the process' of play and so much more. Imagine if your little boy only got to learn them from girls, with girl toys, and using techniques that are mostly tested out on girls? Would that effect the way they act or react to people or other children?
Girls are such different beings, and I do have to say that the teachers at the school have had so much fun with Eden and more than one boy has gone home with fingernail polish on his nail because they do try to get Eden some girly stuff. Girls are more social, play differently,and interact with each other in different ways. I'm not sure she's learned how to really be a girl other than what my in-home support has tried to teach her.
Am I saying that they've ruined her? Done something wrong? No, I'm sure that eventually it won't even matter who she went to preschool with or what kind of toys she liked to play with. Even eventually, I won't worry about these things either because they will just become a part of who she is and how she works. I am saying in the very crucial first few years of school starting in kindergarten, Eden will have trouble fitting in and I'm pretty sure it's not going to ever be easy for her. I'm just hoping she'll figure it out for herself who and what she wants to be and ask me for help if she can't do it alone.
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