Pictures

Today, we are going out and having some pictures done. That means we need to get everyone showered, hair brushed, and put nice clothes on. This usually give me super anxiety. I have trouble anytime I need to expect her to behave, pose or even just sit still and smile all at the same time.

Does anyone else have the sweaty hands, anxiety, and nervousness that I get? The other two girls are never usually the issue. They will sit there and smile and wait for Eden to cooperate. Which is why I think they are my kids, because I think somewhere, someone new I needed a child who would challenge me; as well as the other two who are wonderful, but never gave me any trouble and still don't.

Even going out to eat gives me that anxious feeling. I'm not holding on to the fact that Eden will get the services she needs this spring. She may get them in the fall, and that is alright for me. Just take this morning, for example, I am getting everyone washed up. After Eden's shower, she seemed get a little hyper. That happens a lot when I have a plan and try to get things done. She was getting into things she wasn't supposed to and when I told her to stop, she just growled at me. She closes herself in the bathroom all the time. I have to physically take her out and block her from going back in, because she will play in the toilet. (She has done this ever since she could walk) When I blocked her way she got angry, started yelling at me. She even kicked me and started running at me and hit me with her head.

I'm confused as to how to stop these behaviors. I've tried telling her it hurts me to kick, hit or run into me. It just seems like she doesn't care. When she screams at me, I try and tell her it's not okay or it hurts my ears, she still does it. I've tried time-outs, even at my wits end I've tried gently hitting her back. She like to pretend she is an animal; a dog or cat usually, when she wants something, and I usually tell her that dogs and kitty's don't get those things but little girls do. She also bites me when she is an animal, she doesn't use her teeth much anymore but she uses her lips. It's hard because what I am trying isn't working, and I'm not sure what else to do.

Taking her out anywhere is always a chore. Like today, she is a little off the wall and I'm so afraid we are not going to get her to listen for the 30 minutes it will take to get the pictures done. I have little coping skills when it comes to getting her to behave when we are out. It's a little bit rough when we have to rush out of places because Eden isn't cooperating. I wonder if it will get easier. I hope it does and I finally get to the point that I don't have to go into cold sweats when we go out into public.