How do your words work?

Eden has been having these days where her words just don't make it to her lips. Am I the only one that has a child like this? Probably not. It seems that she is progressing and regressing at the same time. I just don't get how one minute she can be so "there" and present. Talking and laughing just like any other child in the world. There is a flip side to this. There is no warning, rhyme or reason to it, but in an instant she turns to a stimming, non-verbal, aggressive, and sensory defensive(doesn't like to be touched) child. It's like living with someone who has more than one personality.

When she is at her best. It amazes me the words that come out of her mouth. She is just getting to the point where she is curious about the world around her.  When we were talking about friends and teachers at school she asked, "Where do my teachers go?" the other day. I was in awe at the question. She was asking about something in her world not just about her. We were talking about after school she goes home or to OT. It was the first time she actually asked a question about someone else. It's so huge and a great milestone for her developmentally. This is what I don't get.

Then out of nowhere, we can be sitting in the living room doing whatever, and all of a sudden she comes in the room and I can see a difference in her. She isn't really there. She goes back to the grunting and making a noise instead of talking. She doesn't say my name to get my attention. She doesn't respond to me calling her name. No eye contact and if I touch her, watch out. She will fly right off the handle and start hitting, digging and such. This happens at least every other nights and on bad weeks every night for about an hour or so.

There is no specific time that she does this and she has only had one bad day at school since school started. She is doing so well in school and she is really getting a lot of work when it comes to friends and developing her socially. Is it because we are now working on that?  Sometimes fear that she will stop making gains is the worst. I know it probably won't happen but it's always in the back of my mind like a like a little voice keeping score with the gains and regression.

This also happens a lot with my BHP but not only with her. It seems like pushing her even the littlest bit at home she does this. I just get so freaked out by the thought of her going back to THAT place. Fear doesn't drive me when it comes to regression and Eden's behaviors but it's always there in the back of my mind. When people ask me how she is doing, I answer, "She's doing wonderful...this minute." I also love the questions about her future, "What's going to happen when..." or "If she is 10 and still doing that what are you going to do." And let's not get into the "Is she going to be able to...?" questions. I love them.

Right now, all I can say is Eden has words today and I'm grateful. If she chooses to use them I feel blessed, and if she chooses not to use them, everybody should just watch out.