What is a Good Day?

I love the fact that I am having all the best times lately with our girls. Things really seem to be working. We are all communicating effectively with each other, chores are getting completed in a timely manner without much fuss anymore, Eden's behaviors are at a minimum and things are kind of well...boring. There are a ton of things coming up for us this month so we should be fairly busy from now till the end of it.

I say Eden's behaviors are at a minimum, but that isn't quite as accurate as I am thinking more about it now. I'm not saying that she is her "old" self hurting people, constantly needing my attention and redirection to just make it through the days, but I do think that she is still having behaviors. I think the true change in these behaviors are the way we handle them, react to her, and talk to her.

There is no yelling at her when she does things we don't want her to do. When she is running away now, we don't grab her anymore. When she starts digging us (and yes this is still her "go to" injurious behavior when she is upset) but we calmly move her hand and ask her what's wrong and there is no escalation. When we see she's having a difficult time handling certain situations, we first talk her through what is expected, tell her how long we are going to be there, listen to her when she asks for breaks (which she is doing more often but it's still a "work in progress"), and then make sure she knows once accomplished she gets great praise.

We have found talking her through events have helped a ton in her understanding our expectations as she has no concept of time. She does though understand sequences of events; for example: when at the fair she was ready to leave and we were leaving after lunch. We told her the list of things we were going to do and in that order. First look at animals, after we will be having lunch, going on two rides and then going home. As the day progressed we would repeat each thing and point out the part we were at. No meltdown, even with the huge crowds lots of noise and weird smells.

I would like to again point out how I love this kids memory. This morning right before we left I mentioned to Eden (who was not happy we got her dressed) that if she was good at the fair when we came home, she could pick out of the "prize box". We spent an hour driving there, 6 hours there, and an hour driving home. Shortly after we got home Eden came up to me and said, "I went to the fair and was a good girl. Can I have some candy now?" It was clear, with wonderful eye contact. It was like she was thinking about those words all day long. I was super proud of her.

Tomorrow is her birthday party, the next weekend Ed will be doing all the kid running around alone as I will be gone all day on Saturday into Sunday. Eden's actual birthday, Ed and I have our anniversary, my sister's birthday, my nephew will be turning one, and Halloween will all be in less than a two week window. It will give us some challenges but I'm sure we will make it through we are getting better at this.